I suggest that you take a different approach to dealing with your depression and anxiety, brain biochemistry is only a link in a huge cause-effect chain. If you win the lottery you may experience a big dopamine high, but a dopamine high won't make you win the lottery.

View your brain as a super computer (which certainly is) and your personality as an operating system which you must hack to get rid of bugs and malwares. You must crack those thought patterns that make you feel miserable and recover the full control of your system, you couldn't even get up on your feet if you had lost all of your willpower.

(I am not saying that you drop medication, just that don't rely on it as the only form of healing).

To feel Ok about programming again, try to have small personal projects which are easy to complete. Find new ways to deal with boring, monotonous and complex tasks at work. Rescue an old hobbie like playing guitar or find a new one.

EDIT:

I see these small buddhist koans as very insightful from a psychological - rather than religious - point of view. Basically mind suffering can only exist if there is an ego to experience it, and if you find that this ego is just a stream of recurrent thought patterns, you realize the absurd of fear and anxiety.

Huike said to Bodhidharma, “My mind is anxious. Please pacify it.” Bodhidharma replied, “Bring me your mind, and I will pacify it.” Huike said, “Although I’ve sought it, I cannot find it.” “There,” Bodhidharma replied, “I have pacified your mind.”

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A Zen student came to Bankei and said: "Master, I have an ungovernable temper -- how can I cure it?" "Show me this temper," said Bankei, "it sounds fascinating." "I haven't got it right now," said the student, "so I can't show it to you." "Well then" said Bankei, "bring it to me when you have it." "But I can't bring it just when I happen to have it," protested the student. "It arises unexpectedly, and I would surely lose it before I got it to you." "In that case," said Bankei, "it cannot be part of your true nature. If it were, you could show it to me at any time. When you were born you did not have it, and your parents did not give it to you -- so it must come into you from the outside.(...)"

Thanks @neurohax. Your advice will help.

Well.. Reaggeton music qualifies as a psy-weapon of mass destruction.

I am creating this small library that can be described as "jquery for streams of heterogeneous schemaless messages" which pretty much could be a lean replacement for the ugly switch at flex-like architectures. You can sneak a working barebones, very early preview at https://github.com/constructo/neurobus

I didn't perceive it as pretentious. In my opinion the problem is not enjoying the fruits of modern life, but letting others define for you what has or hasn't value, and living a life where the only goal is being perceived by others as "successful".

Its worse when you see someone preaching marxism like these hollywood actors and big bankers praising cuba, the che guevara and what not, yet fully enjoying the luxuries of capitalism.

>one of the world's best healthcare systems

Where were you when that was proven to be propaganda? Even the cuban government banned Michael Moore's documentary because it was full of BS. Oh and the doctors are not free, the cuban government profits by charging the host government an amount per doctor (who gets a miserable share of such charge in the most "capitalista style").

As I understand, the point is: a simple and practical bash command to http-serve the current directory (implemented in Go).

So everything Go already does but in bash.

I believe Redis and Hyperdex have constructs such as bitarrays and sets that can be easily used for representing and querying graphs/hypergraphs. For Redis there are some success stories and even ready to use extensions.

I need a distributed, scalable solution for querying set intersections. Before rolling my own I may give this a chance, though Apache accumulo looks like the first option.

I guess it won't be hard to partner with an indie game artist, replace the sprites and title and turn it into an original game.

I think he is talking about some semantic routing layer above http where you ask for content without querying a specific source/endpoint in the same way that dhcp looks for an ip address. I call it the neuroweb and I have made some satisfying experiments in this field; the only barrier I can see has to do with performance/scalability since we have schemaless data structures + realtime queries, which can easily bottleneck without some kind of efficient specialized index.