One of the best nuggets of advice I got from a psycholgist was this: call around, most therpists are open to talking for a couple minutes to a prospective patient. Find the one you gel with the most, and go to them, if that doesnt work, try and try again, until you find someone who fits.

You are not unwanted, I'm proud that you were able to reach out and talk about your issues here, that is often the first step.

When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold on for just one more day, hour, minute—whatever you can manage

I started taking Banjo classes recently. Years ago I got into Spoken Word poetry. My city had a wonderful, encouraging scene, and I eventually was asked to participate in a huge museum event:

https://youtu.be/G11KTXc2xXc

Say I sucked at poetry though, you gotta try something else. Take some dance classes. Do a crash course weekend of dance classes to jump right in and not have time to worry if you suck or don't get it. I've had a lot of good friends through dance.

Go onto Meetup and find something. A writing group. A boardgame group. It does take effort. Sometimes you're really down .. but try and do it anyway. Don't let work be your life.

Take a pottery class, or something random from the continuing education center in your city/community. A sign language class, or archery, or something.

You just gotta keep doing; make an effort for at least a few months. If winter comes, you can retreat to video games or reading for a while; recharge. But you gotta get out there and try. Take all your vacation at once, buy a week of provisions and go backpack in a national park. Don't be afraid to do something a little crazy.

If you work for a company that wants 70 hours a week. Fuck'em. Do your 40 hours, 45 at most, and then go take care of yourself. That's what really matters.

Your life is meaningful today because a tomorrow will come where you will find what you are looking for. The future and the present are inextricably linked. I think that we all through descents in our life. Don't think less of yourself and don't give up. Look for new ways to find what you are looking for. Travel. Seriously, just pack up your bags and travel. If your job and your city aren't working for you just turn your back and leave. Try some third world countries. You will find their people endearing.

>Travel. Seriously, just pack up your bags and travel

I did. I went to Texas and you know what, I actually felt glad to be alive for the first time in as long as I can remember. Didn't feel that anywhere else (so it wasn't just the effects of traveling). It just felt like home ... in a way that my actual home - England - doesn't and never has for me

>If your job and your city aren't working for you just turn your back and leave

I wish I could, but how can I just up and leave when I don't have a visa? I can't live where I'd like to right now. I did some research, and I'm not eligible for any visas at the moment

I am trying to work towards eligibility, but it's really time and energy consuming

Not sure what are your hobbies (if any). If you have some passion that you're unable to share, I'd advise actively looking for people with a similar taste online.

It's usually quite easier to make friends from unknown people sharing a similar taste than to convert your existing social group to what you like.

Also, if you're kinda good at something, googling some pedagogy basics and teaching it for free in your spare time will make you meet grateful people.

>If you have some passion that you're unable to share

I like firearms - but it's frowned upon to like guns in the UK. There's nothing on meetup.com for that

I like animals - not sure that actually translates well into an activity to share with others though

I used to play online games during my time at school - even went to a few LAN parties - but I'm not so good. After a long time (maybe a year - or more), I just stopped trying as I wasn't having fun. I wasn't getting invited much anyway since people don't want to play with someone who isn't very good

>Also, if you're kinda good at something, googling some pedagogy basics and teaching it for free in your spare time will make you meet grateful people.

I can teach you to write code and shoot guns

For the former, I already give talks at my local user group. I suppose I could try to advertise explicitly to beginners? I usually teach intermediate-to-advanced people (especially FP, monads, clean code, security, encryption)

For the latter, nobody (around me anyway) wants to learn

Do you have any hobbies or interests outside of work? Is there something that you have always wanted to try but found it hard to start? Perhaps checking up on meetup or something like that...

Along the same lines, city intramurals ("beer leagues") could be an option too. In most places you can sign up as a single and be placed on teams that need more people. It has the advantage of getting you out of the house, doing something physical which can also help, and you get to consistently meet people? It's also harder to slack off and quit since you're part of a team.

That is a good suggestion. If you feel like you dont have interests/hobbies outside of work, try beginning something new, even if it's a painting class at a community center.

Like others have already said: try more therapists. And try different kinds of therapy, even weird stuff. Therapy is a very YMMV area, eh?

What are the different kinds?

I am considering psychedelics as I read Ketamine is suppose to be quite effective with depression. Might be a bit hard to do that though

Oh man! There are so many things to try...

The important thing is to go in without expectations and to keep trying different people and "schools" until something clicks or gels for you. Persist!

Good luck and God bless. (I'm available to help, just find any recent HN comment of mine and jump in.)

(In re: psychedelics. I'm not against psychedelic therapy but do your homework, and try other things first. "Set and Setting" are more important than the actual chemical https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Set_and_setting )

First of all, what's your diet like? If you eat crap you will feel like crap. Conversely, if you eat well ("plant-based whole foods") then you will feel well and be healthy. (E.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_China_Study )

There are physical modalities, such as: Get a deep tissue massage; Rolfing; Feldenkrais Method; Alexander Technique; various Yogas; Chiropractic (Your problems could be as simple as a pinched nerve, or a sticky tendon.)

Go see hypnotherapists: Past-life regression; Gene-line regression; Soul retrieval; Time-line therapy (rewrite your past to be a happier person in the present and future); Parental guardian reimprinting (make your parents better people so you grew up better!)

Then there are the emotional and "energy healing" therapies: Emotional Freedom Techniques (aka EFT: tap on your head and you feel better. How does it work? Who cares? It works.); Reiki (I'm a level III practitioner, I can vouch for it. Reiki is very real and powerful); Rebirthing (Orr's work https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebirthing-breathwork not the "Attachment therapy". Let oxygen be your psychedelic. In a nutshell, hyperventilation in a proper set and setting can lead to profound psychological and emotional healing, reaching even to birth trauma.)

Read "Prometheus Rising" and do the exercises. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prometheus_Rising

Try the weird shit.

Even if it doesn't help at least you'll be entertained. (and something will help.)

Woah, you weren't kidding! Thank you, I'll try to look into these when I get home

Find other therapists. Search around. Therapists are just people same as any other people. Finding one that clicks with you will help.