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It's a subtle difference, but I would say a change in phrasing is what's needed.

Rather than "you are a complete idiot" it should be "You are acting like a complete idiot" or better "In this instance you've been duped/fooled, you're being taken advantage of"



that's patronizing. There's an honesty in pointing out that someone is an idiot without treating them like a child to boot.




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