I didn’t downvote you but the issue is definitely your phrasing (“disgusting”).
It took me all of 3 seconds to fall in love with Tailscale, but I think I agree with your point. This is a place of knowledge and curiosity, so digging into stuff and setting it up yourself is definitely to be commended.
For me, I just want a solution that works and I simply don’t have the cycles to spend on this specific problem. Happy to outsource, nothing disgusting about that.
I'm not sure where you read the ad-hominem.