Oh man, where do I start. I had my first kid when I was 21, to say it was unplanned is an understatement, but marriage soon followed and things have really worked out the last 6 years luckily. I now have 2 kids and I'm 27, I'm also a single income for my family. I've been working on my Bootstrapped Startup with four others guys for two years, while it does get painful sometimes what I end up doing the most to handle everything is put off sleep. I probably get 4-6 hours during the week and try to make up for it by getting 8-10 on the weekends, but that rarely works with children (It's hard to be mad when two little kids jump on your head to wake you up because they want to play). We have big updates coming in the future that will hopefully take the site into the limelight, but until then it's a daily struggle and I love it.
> try to make up for it by getting 8-10 on the weekends, but that rarely works with children (It's hard to be mad when two little kids jump on your head to wake you up because they want to play).
Are my parents the only ones that locked their door at night? My brother and I couldn't wake them in the morning, because we couldn't get in. We learned at a very early age to entertain ourselves until Mom and Dad got up.
I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, I'm just saying that it seems like no one thinks of this solution. :)
I see this complaint quite often about the kids being bothersome in the morning and when I tell people about the "door lock" it seems to blow their mind.
Not locking the door but had the discussion with the kids.
Also if you read your kids stories (and I highly recommend it) and you include a generous helping of stories about kids who are independent and loving it (Little Britches, the Boxcar Kids, etc) they too will look forward to being independent. All three of my kids got a checking account when they were 5 (USAA is great for this), they were doing their own laundry by the time they were 10 and making their own lunches. By the time they reached 13 we started a program where each night one person was responsible for dinner that night for all five of us, didn't matter what it was, just had to be reasonably nutritious. Spaghetti? Pretty easy. Mac-n-Cheese, whitesauce with cheeses and some boiled noodles. Croque Madam? Ham sandwhiches with an egg. Steamed vegetables? straight forward. Etc. The goal of my wife and I was that our kids when they hit 18 needed to be able to manage a checkbook, cook their own meals economically, and manage their own laundry/hygiene. When they went off to college that was going to be expected after all.
The benefit to the parents is of course that the kids require less "time critical" time (its really handy to be able to say, "I'm going to be late, you're on your own for dinner." and to know that they will be able to make themselves a nice dinner.) And to not worry about whether or not they have a healthy lunch for school or clean clothes to wear.
By the time they are 18 they pretty self sufficient and that is a huge win. The trick is realizing that kids are much more capable than we often give them credit for, and they feel better about themselves when they feel they are in control of their own lives.
Growing up I was one of five kids and my parents could do this if they wanted, as we were aged 4-16. I think I'm a few years from this being possible as my 5 year old daughter is in a jealousy stage with my 2 year old son, so any time together alone turns into an issue every time.
