I agree with you completely regarding computer support and customer service - put your hands up and apologise to the customer/client for whatever the hold-up/mistake/bug is, then to get on with the matter in hand and fix things.
However, management types can discourage you from doing this as it is an acceptance that there is some liability for whatever it is that has gone wrong. There is a fear of unintended consequences from the instinctive apology.
The same applies with a road traffic accident - to apologise to the other party might be what you want to do (even if you were not entirely at fault) however the insurance company will not be best pleased.
As a consequence we are conditioned to only apologise under duress or for things that are inconsequential. Maybe it is this that affects how we react when someone randomly apologises - it is quite an unusual gift worthy of reciprocation.
There are words that show empathy for the other person, but without putting yourself at risk of accepting liability. They can sound a bit mechanical sometimes, and reading from a script isn't much good.
Just letting someone know that you understand that they're stressed and annoyed or frustrated, and that you'll try to help them makes a big difference. At least, it does when people do it with me.
To me, there are few things more infuriating than a Comcast representative saying something like, "Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that. I would also be frustrated if my cable modem were not acquiring a signal." This type of "empathy" has disillusioned me from most empathy used in customer support.
Yes, this is what I mean. Exercise empathy first - even just "I'm sorry, this is obviously frustrating" is a much better start than an angry defense of why you obviously can't include X and Y in the free version.
I thought I read a month or two ago about a ruling that basically said that saying sorry is not admission of guilt. I can't seem to find the article in relation to it, I'm just saying that it might not hurt as much as you'd think
However, management types can discourage you from doing this as it is an acceptance that there is some liability for whatever it is that has gone wrong. There is a fear of unintended consequences from the instinctive apology.
The same applies with a road traffic accident - to apologise to the other party might be what you want to do (even if you were not entirely at fault) however the insurance company will not be best pleased.
As a consequence we are conditioned to only apologise under duress or for things that are inconsequential. Maybe it is this that affects how we react when someone randomly apologises - it is quite an unusual gift worthy of reciprocation.